None the less, reader discretion is strongly advised.
Mike Hupfer is the author of Memoir of a Broken Child. He also enjoys writing fictional stories of horror that incorporate dark and bizarre elements with a flavor for the macabre.
Polly
By Mike Hupfer
Polly recently celebrated her 57th Birthday. With plenty of whiskey, cotton candy, and cocaine, Polly celebrates alone. Other than her imaginary bisexual friends Ted and Hilda, or Tilda, Polly has never been married or involved in any lasting relationship.
For over thirty years, Polly has lived with her mother. Her mother is a heavy drinker who is old, smelly, nasty, and sharp tongued. Her mother has her own bed, but sometimes sleeps with Polly up close and tight, like an awkward drunken beanie. Although some say that Polly carries her weight well, her doctor says that Polly is obese.
Polly's mother likes to tease her, and say that she is “pleasantly plump like a sweet sticky molasses pie on a hot summer's day."
Polly has rarely been pleasant.
Polly may never ever retire from her uncomplicated government job. She has been a government worker for over thirty years. Except for the beer hall, and the porn shop, life for Polly does not exist outside of work. Presently, Polly is a supervisor of a small employment office in a large metropolitan city. By luck and seniority, Polly has been promoted, and manages a staff of ten people. The small office used to have as many men working as women. Soon after Polly’s promotion, however, the scale tipped decidedly against the men.
Polly enjoys her contrived authority, and uses it often. This Monday morning, Polly finds herself in an especially combative mood. The government has sent her a new hire to train, and to welcome into her office. Polly hates new hires, because they are needy, like dear old smelly mother. Every morning, Polly lumbers in the entrance, and gazes at her office clones. As they file in, Polly nods good morning to the much despised office pawns. To her horror, and astonishment, she spots the interloper green hand enter the building.
Polly gasps, “OH MY GOD, it…it is one of THEM.”
Roger is ecstatic to land a cushy government job. Roger has tried to get a job with the government for over eighty months. One could say that Roger is a throwback to a less hurried and simple time. Many people call him a hippie and mock his long, thick hair. Roger does not care and takes it all in stride.
Roger's enthusiasm, and positive outlook helps him to make friends easily. Upon entering the new office, Roger senses obvious hatred in a certain super sized supervisor. Roger can not pinpoint why. Is it his long hair or southern accent? Roger did not know.
Like the winning lottery ticket number, the code to mother's safe, and how to manipulate people, Polly definitely knows.
Polly hates men
All men
People, mostly men, used to mistake her for a bulky, broad-shouldered, hairy man. Polly has learned her lesson. Now, she always wears pastel dresses, and never plaid slacks. Polly wants to teach them their lesson. Polly just seems to have terrible fortune. According to Polly, all but one man in her office has sexually harassed her. Polly was not afraid to stand up for her rights, and filed several charges. Due to a lack of evidence, most of the charges were dropped. However, all the accused men transferred to a different office, or took early retirement, or were punished.
For the past six months, Roger has been treated savagely by Polly. Roger has been subjected to all forms of Polly’s verbal torture: stinging ridicule, incessant mocking, and Polly’s personal favorite, piss on my leg, humiliation. Polly wants to teach Roger some cruel, grown kid wetting the bed, lesson. Roger does not like being taught anything. Roger realizes that Polly is planning to discard him from her office, and make his life a living hell.
For this holiday weekend, Polly will be planning a disturbing scheme to destroy a certain confident, long haired hippie. Of course, she will nail a bottle of whiskey in the process.
Roger has plans too, very special plans.
This Monday morning, Polly enters her office very early. Polly likes time alone to search her office clones cubicles, lockers, and personal effects. Much to her astonishment, she spots Roger in his cubie. Roger is happily darting away at his keyboard.
Polly bellows, “ROGER, HOW IN THE HELL, did you get in here so EARLY?”
“The Janitor,” Roger replies without looking at Polly.
Polly barrels past Roger, and into the confines of her office. Polly has an urgent call to make. It seems that a certain janitor made crude, unspeakable sexual advances on poor Polly last week. Polly has completely forgotten about it until now. The trauma of yet another cruel sexual exploit temporarily repressed the horrible buried memory.
For the rest of the week, Roger is ordered to scrub soiled toilets, grimy trash cans, and slimy floors. With much fanfare, and humiliation, the office janitor was terminated, and a replacement janitor is not in Polly’s world. From now on, Roger will provide all janitorial duties, and whatever else Polly sees fit for dog duty.
Still reeling from the intoxicating effects of an overload of church whiskey on Sunday, Polly enters her office very early at 5:00 am this frigid Monday morning. The placid glow of Polly, and the office are familiar enough, but something seems amiss.
Polly does not willingly accept her senses, but finally recognizes the smell.
“It is perfume,” Polly burbles, “A MAN'S perfume.”
Slowly slithering from the shadows, Rogers emerges.
Polly screams, “ROGER, HOW THE HELL DID YOU…?”
Polly can not finish the inquisition, her head may explode. Roger is standing in front of her wearing nothing but his fancy glasses.
Roger heckles, “WANNA PLAY BIG BAD BOSS?"
Roger continues, "WHY DON'T WE SADDLE UP COWGIRL? You're the horse, and I’ll be the dirty rancher.”
Roger teases. “You know, I always liked gigantic, flabby women. There is more to adore, and experience.”
Roger’s display horrifies Polly, but at the same time stirs up feelings, caged wild animals, deranged monkey sexual feelings. Polly quickly joined Roger, undressing to nil.
Roger then demands, “I will take you NOW, cowpoke, GET ON YOUR CRUSTY KNEES.”
NO MAN makes demands of POLLY. Polly then violently tosses Roger on his back.
Polly then beat, spit, clipped, kicked, gnawed, slapped, bit, and used Roger the way she thought he wanted to use her. After an hour of torment, Roger manages to slip away, and out the office door. Satisfied with her sexual exploitation, Polly celebrates with several giant sniffs of wild puffy snow.
This Tuesday morning starts out quite poorly for Polly. Two office pawns, including Roger, are late. To punish them, Polly decides that the entire staff will have a surprise stand-up meeting at 4:00 pm quitting time, which she will make last over 3 hours. Polly thinks the stupid office pawns must know their place, and now is the time to make the office surfs toil the dirt, and understand their place in Polly's world.
To make matters worse, Roger enters her building much later with four official people, including the director of the division, Polly's supervisor, and two plain clothes police officers.
After being escorted into her office, Polly is shown numerous official documents, including a scathing statement, and report, and vivid, brutal pictures of a beaten Roger. As far as everybody was concerned, Roger, POOR HELPLESS ROGER, was raped by a woman nearly twice his size.
Luckily for Polly, Roger is civilized. Roger allows Polly to retire early, and in that same hour, Polly is permanently removed from government service, and escorted from her office, with thirty years of junk already boxed-up by a most thoughtful Roger.
For Polly, now it's time to share many bottles of whiskey with wickedly smelly mother, Hilda, Ted, and Tilda, wherever they may be. Fortunately for Roger, Polly went down for the very last time. As they say, the last is the best. The cowpoke bloke made her the joke.
